Friendship can be very complicated. Feelings are involved and emotions run high when issues present themselves. It is important to have healthy relationships with friends that will encourage you to grow as an individual as you support them. Are all of your friendships actually healthy? Take a look at this cute acronym to decide whether your friendships are everlasting or toxic.
Make sure that your friendships are enjoyable. When you are with someone, you should feel able to be vulnerable and be yourself. If you are using this individual for personal gain or you think your friend is using you, this is a toxic friendship. Friendships should be rooted in love and genuine care for one another. If you have to force yourself to spend time with a friend of yours, you may want to rethink your relationships to find out why you have these feelings. For the sake of you and your friend, be sure that you are friends for the right reasons.
It is crucial to know that you can depend on your friends! You should know without a doubt that if you called your friends in a time of uncertainty, that they would be there for you and willing to help. However, reliability needs to flow from both people in a relationship. If you feel as though you are constantly reaching out to aid your friend, but they never reciprocate this type of support, you need to have a serious heart-to-heart conversation. If you consider someone a close friend, ensure that you are asking for help if you need it. It is not shameful to need an extra boost or a little bit of advice.
This important relationship quality may seem strange, but if you have ever had a relationship that lacks independence, it is obvious why it is a problem. Friends are amazing to have in your life, but not all the time. It is important that your friends are not overwhelming to the point that they become a burden to your other relationships or to your daily life. Clingy friend can cause marital problems or distract you from personal achievements.
When I was younger, I had a friend that wasn’t very empathetic. During the time that I was on crutches or the times that I was sick, she would belittle my feelings and make them seem irrelevant. Friends should always be concerned with the problems you are facing and not try to down play your emotions or perspectives. Your feelings are important, and a true friend will be able to discern when you are feeling upset and be compelled to comfort you.
It is difficult to spot “fakeness”, especially in your friends. However, if you start to see your friend acting differently in front of others while with you, talk to them about it. There is no need to be fake friendly or snobby to certain people. And chances are, if they change personalities with each person they come across, they aren’t being their true self around you either. Since life isn’t a reality TV show, you need real friends, not fake ones. Don’t just stand by if your friends are icky sweet to someone and then have a different opinion of them behind their backs.
It is important to have a friend that is devoted to you, but it is also important that they are devoted to their morals and obligations. For example, if you are married and have a best friend who is less than faithful to her significant other, this is not a good relationship to invest in. It is important that you surround yourself with a few very close friends that share your same morals so they can hold you accountable. Although everyone has those “crazy friends”, make sure that they aren’t willing to sacrifice your priorities for a fun time.
Me. Me. Me. Some people only have one word in their vocabulary, and it is me. If you have a friend like this, your conversations probably begin with you bringing up a problem you are having, and end with talking about your friend. Again. This is one of my biggest pet peeves! Sometimes, it is important to talk out issues with friends. This task is nearly impossible if your friend doesn’t want to talk about you, but instead wants to talk about when they had a problem similar to yours. If you are in a friendship with a selfish friend, it is a very toxic relationship.
If your friends have all of these qualities, then they passed! They are true friends and you should keep reminding them how special they are to you. If a characteristic stood out on this list because one of your friends doesn’t possess it, talk to them. I can’t stress this enough! People can never improve or change if they don’t know what they are doing wrong.